AMOTA…!?!? SHAMEFUL…!?!?

When an Armenian wants to do something which is not the others’ business, as a non Armenian would propose, it must undergo some discussions among relatives, friends, neighbors and their relatives. Thus not a step can be done without their approval. And this is the case when they usually hear them say: “ Amota… Mi ara”, and they never do what they meant to.
 

You can hear such “amota”s in every step. For example when a girl wants to go to a market, she does such a make up, that if you stick your finger the half of it will penetrate into her face. If you ask her why she wears that Japanese mask, she is likely to say: “Amota!..What will the people say?”..Huh?  Is having a clown like face preferable than the natural one? I’ll admit that it’s shameful only in the case when she is disguising her dopey and stupefied expression of the face under that mask. On the contrary, come on, gals, why do you pay heed  to the silly things the others do or say? Looking natural is not shameful at all.
 

Dear Armenian girls, if you want to avoid another shameful thing, never come home late at night and when especially someone gives you a ride, ask him to drop you off  a little bit far from your house, so that your neighbors assume that you’ve returned alone, otherwise the other day everyone in your neighborhood, especially old women, will gossip and suppose that you are out running around and will persuade you repeating: “Inch amota!- What a shame!.. ts..ts..ts (this is usually followed by head movement to the right and left)”. Yes, don’t get surprised, this is a tendency that runs through our society for generations.
 

Spreading rumors – the only thing we do best of all and united.
 

3 days ago my cousin asked me to lend her one of my purses for some 2-3 days: “My  coursemates will never forgive me  if I attend the first day of classes with the old purse. Amota! It’ll be a splendid topic for them to discuss during the week”. I’d better ask her not to take the rules of her course, but it was too late, now she is too much  in that bog. On the other hand it’s never late to improve thаt “highly complex” situation. Just be able to break out of the paradigms created by other centers and comfort zones of unworthy habits.
 

Here you can be a witness of such a performance, when the spouses have already nothing in common, have fallen out and are spoiling for a fight with each other, they get boisterous and nervous at the sight of each other and abhor one another, but yet they don’t want to get divorced. The matter is not that the children would suffer ( although they suffer in both cases) or that they make an attempt to save the ramshackle relations, to rectify the situation, but that the relatives would say: “Don’t do it..amota..What will the others say?”. And they prefer  remaining in that false marriage, carrying the burden of their lives and later on passing it to their children, but not making the  relatives keep trap shut and mind their own business.
 

 This is a mentality which deserves to be said: “Amota”.
 

Don’t feel free, don’t say this, don’t do that… “Amota, amota amota!!”
These are cases when we act not the way we would like to ,  proceeding from what the others may say, and not that our actions are  immoral.
 

Let’s take a simple example and delineate what really can be shameful.
When the van (marshrutka) is overcrowded, which is the case in Armenia, the old people are breaking their backs and all benting over, while the strong young people sit comfortably, not giving a fig for those who are probably of their parents’ and grandparents’ age. I must say that this is a new phenomenon in our society, as we used to have more respect for the older. And this is really shameful, the explanation is that they lack courtesy. Amota!!!
 

When people cut trees, destroy green areas for personal purposes, throw the leftovers of their food anywhere, lie and deceive each other, levy  war  and kill people, this is shameful – explanation-lack of tenderness of feeling and compassion. And it must be said: amota!!
 

We can find such examples in our everyday life. Have you ever been restricted from doing something because “amota”? Real shameful things exist everywhere, just we don’t pay attention to what needs to be paid to. But this is a pressure of the midst and we must get rid of it. How to get it over? Don’t we like to change it?
 

 I’m not the best specialist, but the answer to this question is different for every person and situation. Search for it in yourself.  I think it is of utmost importance that we realize who we are, what our values are, what we need and feel, and try to save our decency and self-respect. We can always change the atmosphere around us, moreover, we can do it in a proactive manner and with fundamental steps. For that, we must arm ourselves with the necessary psychological and intellectual capacity. My contemplation of life and human nature had thought me that he who cannot change the very fabric of his thought will never be able to change reality, and will never, therefore, make any progress. Real change comes from striking at the root – the fabric of our thought, the essential paradigms, which give definition to our character and create the lens through which we see the world. Only that way we will become empowered in the task of creating effective, useful and peaceful lives and no gossips, no rumors, no badmouthing will  have an impact on us and can not prevent us from doing what we REALLY desire.
 

Such “amota”s must only be laughed at.
 

Dear compatriots, don’t be as much funny!
Amota…!!

7 Responses to “AMOTA…!?!? SHAMEFUL…!?!?”

  1. Freedom Says:

    Well said!!!! Great post and great blog. Hope to read more from you!

    I actually started loving the marshrutkas after a while, and yeah it’s sad that older people have to stand up while younger people are sitting and not even giving a damn!

  2. Oneworld Multimedia :: Amot! More from Zarchka :: February :: 2006 Says:

    […] Having now set up her own blog, Zarchka continues to tackle some of the most annoying traits and features of Armenian society. While the international community says that the country is drawing closer to Europe, on the ground at least, the local mentality continues to be as superficial and retarded as ever. Or perhaps, maybe it isn’t now that some young Armenians are starting to question a society that cares more about image rather than substance. Dear Armenian girls, if you want to avoid another shameful thing, never come home late at night and when especially someone gives you a ride, ask him to drop you off a little bit far from your house, so that your neighbors assume that you’ve returned alone, otherwise the other day everyone in your neighborhood, especially old women, will gossip and suppose that you are out running around and will persuade you repeating: “Inch amota!- What a shame!.. ts..ts..ts (this is usually followed by head movement to the right and left)”. Yes, don’t get surprised, this is a tendency that runs through our society for generations. […]

  3. Global Voices Online » Blog Archive » Armenia: Substance and Appearance Says:

    […] Zarchka writes about substance and appearances in Armenian society. […]

  4. ArmYouth Blog » Se…curity, Drugs and Rock’n’Roll? Says:

    […] So is that it?  Is rock’n’roll associated with such an image?  Some may agree.  Could that be why there were so many security guards present at the rock concert in Tsaghkadzor?  It comes down to this, I think.  Many Armenians tend to judge these people because they “look different” from the norm and also think that rock’n’rollers are bad people- criminals, or just unobedient children.  I mean, isn’t that why they choose to maintain such an image because they want to disobey their parents?  They are “not normal” which is why they do not shave, wear ripped jeans and the guys wear earrings.  Those people who make it a point to be different from others is unacceptable in such a homogenous society.  After all, as Zarchka points out in a recently written post these are the types of things that would make others say “Amota…mi ara.” […]

  5. Oneworld Multimedia :: To Pierce or Not to Pierce? :: February :: 2006 Says:

    […] As I’ll be 38 this year, I suppose I should think carefully about the “suitability” of wearing an earring again, but as society here prefers clones to individuality, it’s time for me to buck the trend at least. Too many young Armenians seem to resist any opportunity to express themselves because of the attitudes represented by the society around them. […]

  6. Arsen V. Safaryan Says:

    Keep going on. I’m with you. Any design needs just call me, I’ll be there for you always. Thank you.

  7. Scary Azeri Says:

    very interesting, and very similar to back home. enjoyed this.
    thanks to onnik for the link.

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