Excuses… for the Muse

There are so many things roaming about my mind, and I’m sorry that I can’t find time to at least jot them down here. I see my computer at home rarely, haven’t touched it for the last month actually, as the only thing I dream of when I get home late is to sleep. Yet there are so many things to do, that I get deadly tired and my brains stop functioning any more. Today I realized that I haven’t composed any song for the past month or so, as I’m usually full of music and record everything that sings inside, however, I’ve been dumb for the last month. Yesterday, the girl’s group with who I train my voice asked me to compose a song for them as they liked my songs, which I sang for them some time ago. Sure, I will try, just how to explain that I’m waiting for my muse?! Hope she will not leave me for good😉
Probably my only consolation is this poem I wrote recently. Enjoy! Or don’t! Whatever. Cheers!

Կախվել եք գլխիս, ամպե’ր,
Բայց ինձ չեք փակում.
Ես ինքս եմ կաղապարս`
Կարողության սպասումուվ:
Տանիքս անթափանց է,
Գլուխս` բաց,
Ու պատուհանի կեղտոտ բծերն են ձեզ մռայլում,
Մեկ էլ` կոտրված ապակու ճեղքերը,
Որ կաթիլներ են ներս թողնում…
Ու գոլորշանում…
Իսկ լույսը նրանցում բեկվում է…

Շարժվում եք, բայց չեք շարժում,
Միայն տանում եք շունչս,
Որ էլ ընդունակ չէ սպասելու,
Բայց ուզում է.
Գերաններ է ցցում կոպերի մեջ
Ու թրջված դեմքը դեմ տալիս քամուն,
Որ արթուն պահի…

Քարավանում եք…
Մնում է միայն հետքը ստվերոտ,
Եվ զգուշությամբ ծալված թղթե ինքնաթիռը,
Որ նետում եմ ձեր հետևից ու հետևում.
Թո’ղ ամպոտվեն…
…. Իմ փոխարեն…

November 3, 2007

7 Responses to “Excuses… for the Muse”

  1. Iren Says:

    Shat gexecika, ev hogeharazat.

  2. leavethewindow Says:

    i read some of ur previous poetry posted here. it seems u use quite often the image of a house and window in particular. i had a feeling u keep urself closed somewhere and like presenting ur closedness as smth .. i dont know how to name it in order not to be misunderstood.. somethin probably attractive?
    if u want to compose and to really express urself, dont u think u’ve got to open and free urself.
    noubar

  3. Zarchka Says:

    Noubar, thanks for your comment.
    Well noticed! You’re right, at least three of my writings I posted here include doors and windows. Actually I noticed it while posting the last one, I thought probably I should’ve made a new category named “doors and windows”😉
    However, all of them have a background, for instance, in case of the last one I was sitting in the kitchen, leaning on the table and watching out of the window, where the whether was dull and clouds were moving very fast and deepened my mood. So before jotting my thoughts down, I already had the picture in front of me, plus my mood. Those are mainly descriptions, shouldn’t imply to be attractive.

    I have other writings, more open, but, yeah probably you’re right – I chicken to post them here, merely because I’m afraid to become vulnerable.
    Cheers.

  4. leavethewindow Says:

    hey, post them! dont think u will become more vulnerable.. onthe contrary, u will get so much strenght. i would be very happy to see how ur mood changes🙂
    i am also writing poetry. maybe once i will post some of mine here, in ur blog.

  5. Zarchka Says:

    It took me a while to post at least those ones. May be I won’t chicken to post the rest one day, dunno… Meanwhile you are welcomed to post your poems here, or if you know there’s a Poetry Project at http://armenian-poetry.blogspot.com/, where you might have some of your poems posted. Just contact the administrator.
    Peace.

  6. Kh. Khorin Says:

    Zara, I could guess what’s the reason of mentioning windows and doors in your poems,that’s because you want to get something out from inside, or
    maybe yourself, though you are aware the very something or you are not bad at all…and still you know that you are a part of everything you see around, thats why everything seems to be in a static mood
    As far as I know , Windows and doors mean Welcoming, openness and closure, What you think Zara?

  7. Zarchka Says:

    I don’t like analyzing, but whatever. Yes, when the doors and windows are open they may stand for welcoming, openness and closure, but when they are closed, they may signify things contrary to the abovementioned. However, in the last poem the window is closed, and I’m inside, that is to say I am the one who closed the window. In the poem “my inhospitable window”, I’m outside and the window is closed in front of me. In the poem with ajar door things are different, it stands for bidding farewell to someone. But all in all, yeah, I would like all doors and windows be open…
    Peace🙂

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